Monday, February 27, 2006

grate and smite.


1) Friday evening, immediately after going to the bank to make a deposit, I got the tip of my shoe caught in a crack in the sidewalk on the other side of the parking lot, directly across from where I work, and after flailing helplessly as I plummeted towards the ground with my arms outstretched and my face pulled back and turned away, I managed to catch all my weight on the palms of my hands and on the left side of my left knee, before skidding to a stop several feet later.

I was wearing gloves, which miraculously didn't get damaged, and my hands are fine. They were a little sore in the wrist-area this weekend, but are otherwise unharmed.

And also miraculously, I didn't managed to cheese-grate my pants, which is good because I like those pants a lot, and this event proves their near-indestructability. They got a little dust in one particular spot, but it rubbed right off as though it hadn't been there in the first place. Instead, I managed to skin a quarter-sized area of flesh off of the left side of my knee, right on the bendy bit, and then transfer it in finely-shredded form to the inside of my nearby pant leg.

They say 80% of all house dust is comprised of our own shedded skin cells. Well, I can assure you that the pixie dust I generated was 100% bonafide shredded skin cells.

I also generated a plum-sized lump of bruised flesh directly under and around the open wound in the aforementioned bendy bit, also known as the notorious bad zone of my left knee, which is the source of constantly inadvertent abuse, and will also inevitably end up the spot where knee-replacement surgery will be
the most needed.

Today, my knee is still very sore to the touch, a little painful to bend, scabrously scraped up, and a most lovely swirl of purple, brown, green, blue and yellow.


2) Saturday afternoon as I was limping around the salon, doing my best to not bend my left knee, mostly because I don't dig that sorta pain, I found it harder than I expected to do the most basic of tasks.

Like, when I needed to open the laundry bin door underneath the shampoo backbar area, I had to twist around and stick my left leg straight and sort of to the side, and then turn my torso back in the other direction, then intending to bend down, pull the door open, and retrieve the used capes and towels inside.

However, whilst turning my torso back in the other direction and bending down, I managed to slip a little to the left, and before I could catch myself with my hands, I managed to hurl my body to the right, just at the correct angle to bring my right cheekbone down full force upon the top of the laundry bin door handle, smiting it yeah verily with a very solid thunk. Which did in fact dent my cheek for a while, right before the dent turned bright red, and then swelled up into an average olive-sized lump, right on the most prominent and cheekboniest bit on that side of my face.

And today, my cheek is still very sore to the touch, a little painful to smile, puffy yet slightly-less swollen, and a swirl of yellow and green, with blotches of purple and blue towards the center of the injury.

3) They say that bad things come in threes, so I choose to believe that the third bad thing is as follows.

While I bought this today, I don't get to have it until Friday, due to warehouse stocking issues and whatnot.

Hewlett-Packard - Pavilion Notebook with AMD Turion™ 64 dv8125nr
AMD Turion™ 64 mobile technology ML-32; DL DVD±RW/CD-RW drive; 17" widescreen; dual 80GB hard drives; 512MB PC2700 DDR memory; Windows XP Media Center; LightScribe labeling; 6-in-1 media reader; remote
Dude, it has a TEN-KEY pad and a remote control.

Which should severly cut down on misaligned numerical touch-typing corrections.

And, I can be just a little out of arm's reach of the computer, and still make DVDs play!

Plus, for like $150 or so more, I can acquire some sort of multimedia thingamajig that allows me to not only watch television programs upon the screen of my computer, but also record said television broadcast onto a disc, effectly allowing my computer to function as a DVR.

That's power, but I'm not sure exactly how often I would actually wield it.

For now, I choose to forgo the wi-fi router and pricey multimedia add-on, and use it as a notebook computer, much as I use this one under my fingers and hands.

4) Addressing the people who were wondering about the relative hotttness of Lord Sesshomaru vs. his half-brother, this is what I shared with the Dread Pirate Tif:
"Lord Sesshomaru is:

"He's missing his left arm because his half-brother chopped it off in the first season while he was in his demon dog form:

"His half-brother is more whimsical and cute-ish, not hottttt.


"And at the new moon, the half-brother turns fully human, and this is his form:

5) And, as an aside, more than 2/3 of the virus emails I receive these days end in ".au."

Either I have a larger Oz readership than I imagined, or else I'm really hottt on the most popular Oz virus listings.

FYI, ".uk" is getting up there too, though.

Not that that is a formal challenge or anything. I'm not courting more disaster than I already have.

6) Thank you, please drive thru.