how well do you know me?

1. What are the two movies I have seen more than any other movies? Bonus: Why?

2. What is the movie that I made everyone watch with me after I taped it off of AMC (back when they ran movies without commercial interruptions)?

3. Why do I have so many houseplants?

4. What was my favorite movie at the beginning of my frosh year of college, and why?

5. Why don't I like Year Zero?

6. How many paper shredders have I owned in the last 2 years?

7. Which of Anne Rice's vampire novels have I _not_ read?

wet paint - do not touch

In honor of my 35th year of life.

cleaning house

Is anyone interested in the following books? They're wasting space at my house, and they're valueless on Amazon.

1. Lavender: Practical Inspirations for Natural Gifts, Country Crafts & Decorative Displays - Tessa Evelgh, 1996, Lorenz Books, Hardcover.
2. The New Candle Book: Inspirational Ideas for Displaying, Using & Making Candles - Gloria Nicol, 1996, Lorenz Books, Hardcover.
3. The Complete Soapmaker: Tips, Techniques & Recipes fpr Luxurious Handmade Soaps - Norma Coney, 1996, Sterling/Lark, Hardcover.
4. Herbal Remedies: An Introduction to Herbs & Their Theraputic Uses (Naturally Better Series) - Tamara Kircher & Penny Lowery, 1996, Macmillan, Hardcover.
5. aveda pure essences: using flowers and plants to achieve a sense of well-being, circa 1993 0r 1994, soft-cover guide for retailers, very informative about essential oils in general.

Seriously, if anyone wants them, lemme know, otherwise I'm leaving them on the table in the hallway, and who knows what sort of strange neighbors I might have reading them.

(Someone left a huge stack of supernatural romance novels on that table, for criminy's sake - which I have, of course, been working my way through ever since.)

online research is so interesting

Why do 16 of the 17 group of synonym listings for shellac on thesaurus.com seem to involve beating the crap out of someone?

The first thing I think of when I hear “shellac” is the resinous substance created from the dissolution of lac into a solvent of some sort, which is then used to seal wooden furniture and the like. Not thrashing someone.

work conversations.

"So... do you go by Nathanial,

*shrug*

"or Nathan,

*shrug*

"or Nate,

*shrug*

"or Nat?"

"You can call me whatever."

*nod*


"..."

"..."

"Can I call you Boing-Boing McCoy?"

"No, please don't call me Boing-Boing McCoy."

"Are you sure?"

"Please don't call me Boing-Boing McCoy."

"Because, you know, you kinda look like a Boing-Boing McCoy."

*vehement headshake*

"But, whatever..."

*nod*

"I guess Nathanial is fine, too."

"Okay."

more reasons to love redbox.

She's the Man.

Dude, I hate to admit it, but with the exception of Lovewrecked, I love Amanda Bynes in quirky romantic, coming of age comedies.

Plus, it's a variation of Twelfth Night, my favorite Shakespearean gift to the world.

My fave Twelfth Night? The one with Imogen Stubbs, Tony Stephens, Ben Kingsley, & Helena Bonham Carter.

Mmmm. Toby Stephens as Duke Orsino.

Yummy-licious.

And for my viewing pleasure now? Eragon.

Guiltless movies at $1.06 a pop.

Less than a pop, even... a Pepsi is like $1.29 if you're lucky!

either way, i'll still be crying...

So I rented The Lake House from redbox.

It's exactly the kind of movie that I would certainly never pay $3.99 to rent, and would probably catch for "free" on HBO, if I still had a subscription. But for $1.06 (including tax), I'm game.

During the opening credits, I noted that it was based on a Korean film called Il Mare.

And I was enjoying the movie, it being a self-indulgent, tear-inducing chick-flick.

But then as the movie progressed, I realized that I wasn't sure if this was going to be a City of Angels, or a Wings of Desire.

In Wings of Desire, an angel discovers a lovely trapeze artist, literally falls, sells his gear, finds her, and lives happily ever after.

In City of Angels, an angel stalks an unhappy female surgeon, falls, gets mugged, finds her after many trials and tribulations, loves her for one night, watches her die horribly in a bike v. logging truck accident, and then lives happily never after as a mortal who has tasted love for one brief moment.

To be honest, it's really all just a matter of how relatively Hollywood-ized and tainted the story becomes in the telling.

And despite either eventuality, I still ended up snuffling and weeping at the end.

Now, I'm going to go watch Failure to Launch, also a $1.06 pick.

sounds

overheard

Onegin the movie?

At least I don't understand opera, or I'd probably judge that, too.

spoken

Things are going so well, I don't even clean my house anymore.

Well, I don't clean my house, either.

Yeah, but you don't have a maid.

driven mad

*chirp* *whirr* *chirp* *whirr*

Shut up! Shut up!

*chirp* *whirr* *chirp* *whirr*

One of you bitches better find that thing and kill it...

*chirp* *whirr* *chirp* *whirr*

... because I am so not living with two crickets.

dramarama at the workplacery

Okay, so I just got off the phone with my Assistant, who is 23, and tender-hearted, and a little weird, because the 40-somethings that work in the salon were bullying her.

Which means they were being bitchy, and she needs to grow a pair.

I am sympathetic to everyone's situation: you've got an insecure child trying to lead a team of stubborn mules.

They kick, they bite, they bray.

They're mules.

And you've got an experienced, opinionated, set-in-their-ways team of mules being led by a child who is afraid of them.

She's practically ready to quit because she's upset that they ignore her and bitch about her.

After listening to her vent for a while, I actually said to her, "When I was your age..." which made me feel really old. But it's true, at 23 I was a whole different person who took everything personally and cried a lot, too.

So, I shared a few experiences that I've had, and told her that at some point, I realized that I can't live in fear of other people, nor can I let their issues fuck with my issues, or worse, become my issues.

And I told her that she needs to learn how to do that, too. But I also told her that I kind of hope that she'll live the kind of life and have the experiences in her life where she'll never have to be hard and not care enough to let things bother her that deeply. I wish that sort of life for everyone.

It's not realistic, but it made her feel better. And I think she realizes that I am on her side, too. Because I'm not going to abandon her or the salon just because some other stylists who should know better than to act that petty and immature are acting bitchy or mean. Seriously, though, they're not going to run me out of there -- if I leave, it's on my own terms and for my own reasons.

Dude, I'm giving sage, confidence-building advice to early twenty-somethings. That's fucked up.

But also kind of cool.

I might be goofy and immature, but I'm also very sensical when I want to be, I've had a lot of shitty experiences in my life that I've learned from, and I've adopted and adapted the motivational teachings of a couple of industry leaders that help put my career life in perspective, and hopefully help others to order their lives a bit.

And good God, I can't even really call it peer-counseling, either, because I'm not really the kind of person who can be her peer.

Which can only mean... I'm a mentor.

drawbacks

I like my job. I really do. But I do not really like children coming into my job.

Perhaps peculiar to that particular neighborhood, everyone that frequents the salon and brings children with them, has like 4 kids, all pretty closely ranged in age from babe-in-arms to about 4th grade. And if they don't have 4 kids of their own, they come in with someone else that has the appropriate amount of children to round the group out to 4 children.

Case in point, we had two women bring their herd of children into the salon earlier today.

One woman had 3, the other woman had 1, and the woman with more children wanted both of her boys to get cuts.

She was told it would be at least 30 minutes, so they put the names in and left.

Ten minutes later, they all returned to the salon and sat down. Well, the adults sad down. The children instead started to whoop and holler and run around like little crazy people, clearly not using their indoor voices, and the mothers responded by increasing the volume of their conversation, as the decibel level of the children rose accordingly.

No chiding, no shushing, no dirty looks. No, "Sit down over here and stop pulling your sister's hair!" No grabbing things out of the children's hands and putting them back on the shelves where they belonged.

No nothin'.

A couple of minutes later, the more apparently fertile of the pair inquired as to whether the wait would be 20 minutes or not, as she could not decide if they should leave and come back, or just stay inside until there was time for the kids to get cuts.

All I really wanted to say, "Well, it'd be a lot quieter in here if you left."

But I didn't.

music update:

Theory Anesthetic.

Mandy not only heads up the group, but she's also my client, so you know her hair rocks.

Today, she gave me a copy of the new cd, but unfortunately all cd-playing devices in my household recognize it only as a blank disc.

At least you and I can listen to them here.

My fave is Church of Nothing.

thank the lord for small miracles...

It's about damned time, for criminy's sake!

"NOW AVAILABLE! Neuticles UltraPLUS with Epididymis

"Introducing a new level of testicular implantation for previously neutered, monorchid or cryptorchid pets.
"Neuticles UltraPLUS^® with ScarRetard features not only the testes but the Cauda Epididymis, Ductus Deferens, Pampiniform Plexus and Caput Epididymis, which restores the pet to anatomical preciseness (my emphasis). Two suture tabs located at the end of the Pampinform Plexus, and midway on the testes, anchor the implant to assure optimum realism.

"Eight sizes and custom sizing for any pet now available.

"Click Here for details and pricing."

And yes, I was actually aware of what the epididymus was prior to this: when irritated by moronic men, I used to graciously offer to show them their epididymii if they didn't stop bothering me.

Then I was generally forced to explain exactly what the epididymus was and where it was located, often in great, achingly explicit detail.

Which usually left me devoid of unwanted male companionship.

(I personally find it far more effective than threatening to tear off someone's limb and beat that someone to death with it.)

some things I believe...

1. Vera Bradley bags are hideously ugly.
   
   They look like those particular sort of carryalls in which old biddy spinsters cart their knitting around.
   
   
2. Evan Farmer is hot.
   
   
3. So is Colin Ferguson.
   
   
4. Sunbelle raspberries from Chile taste a lot better than Driscoll's from Mexico.
   
   
5. These are the fucking coolest flip-flops ever made. (They have the grommets on the inside like the shoes do, and they even have the ALL*STAR tag on the back heel. Righteous!)
   
   
6. My Black & Decker digital convection toaster oven is the shiz-nit.
   
   I love baking now that doing it it doesn't heat the entire apartment up to like 100-degrees Fahrenheit.
   
   
7. Anjou pears are infinitely superior to bartlett pears when making brie and pear toast. Bosc will also do in a pinch.
   
   
8. My job?
   
   Same ol' pettiness, whining and bitchiness, different salon.
   
   And yet, I still like it.
   
   
9. I got called Miss Martha today because I think the customer service person on the telephone couldn't pronounce my mom's not-particularly-difficult-to-pronounce Czech last name.
   
   I guess if you ax folx quessions fo' a livin', z pernounced as zh migh juss be a l'il tuff.
   
   
10. It's worth visiting two different nail places to get a super fantastic pedicure and an equally awesome set of nails done, if you can't get both at the same place.
    

fuzzy wuzzy scaley cute

Three thoughts:

1. It's amazing which side you root for, depending on what sort of documentary you're watching.

If it's one sort, you're rooting for the cute little Thompson's gazelles to escape the toothy maws of vicious predators.

And if it's another, you're desperately hoping that the inexperienced cheetah mother can catch thoses same wily gazelles, so that she can feed her seven hungry little fluff balls of kitteny cuteness.

You know, despite knowing that all seven could never successfully make it to adulthood.

But they're so damned cute.

2. Female green anacondas can shave as many as 100 days off of their pregnancy by basking in the sun.

If only that worked for everyone.

Sure, skin cancer would be at an all-time high, but maternity wardrobes would be cut in half.

3. And... I love love love Adrian, the Quiznos coyote.

In case you aren't aware, Tuesday, a coyote walked into a downtown Loop Quiznos through the propped-open front door, wandered around inside for a minute, then took a 40 minute siesta inside the open drink cooler, before being captured and hauled away by animal control.

Then Wednesday, after a night in the pokey, and with a clean bill of health, Adrian was released back into the wild.

If you can really call a wooded area in Barrington, Illinois, near a horse barn and two tennis court 'the wild.'

In depth info here:

http://cbs2.com/watercooler/watercooler_story_094024554.html

http://www.abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=local&id=5179979

http://www.abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=local&id=5184045

damned censors.

Clearblue has changed the voice-over on the commercial to now say the following:

"Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test, the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever... *clears throat*...you know."

I am sorely disappointed.

Indeed.

the return of chemo sorbie gal. now, if only jesus man was to be found...

So, I said to C., "Hey, you want to cut my hair. Right? Right?"

And she said she would.

Then, I said to C., "I need like an inch cut off. Here, (holds up bangs) see the difference in length between there and the top? That's like how much I want off all over. And don't worry, it's almost impossible to make it too short. Oh, and I like my ears cut out. And make sure the neckline isn't all wispy because I hate that."

She took it all under advisement, and proceeded to give me the haircut I asked for, except it was still too long in back.

So she cut more back there.

And then she worked around the sides.

And then the top.

And the front.

And then around the crown some more.

Two thoughts on the haircut:

1. Wow, I didn't know my cowlick could stick out like that. I guess it's good that I have some really sticky-ass hair goo to hold it down.
2. I am now awaiting the inevitable comparisons to Annie Lennox in that one video -- not only because it's flaming red-orange, but mostly because it's almost that short.
   

my new job

...is going to take some time to settle in to position.

There hasn't been any effective leadership in the salon for over 6 months, so everything's gone to hell in a handbasket.

Paperwork hasn't been done properly since God only know's when, the place is filthy, and whoever's been doing the ordering is a nutjob.

We've got like 6 bottles of color remover (for wiping off excess color from the skin, post-coloring), two of which just came in yesterday, but we have less than half a bottle of cleaner, and got none in the order, because none were ordered.

I've been purging paperwork stuff from like 2001 - 2005, that easily could have been chucked in like 2002 - 2006.

And I've been going through overstocked products and have winnowed most of them down to the essentials.

I have so incredibly much more to do, though.

Months worth of more.

But that is another thing for another day.

On the cutting front, since I stopped working for Those Bastards (the new official name for the place I used to work before now), and started at Workplacery, I have had 8 clients come in to get their hair done -- 5 of them yesterday alone, and a few more on the books in the near future. I have also done a lot of other people, several of which seem inclined to return to me in the future.

And today I discovered that the produce selection at the Jewel a block away from Workplacery is a hell of a lot better than at the one by my house.

Plus, there may be no Starbucks or Caribou Coffee nearby, but I've got Avanti across the street, and Julius Meinl down the block. Both of which offer delicious beverages and reasonably-priced foodstuffs. Especially J.M.

maximum random-ocity.

01. I got the job for real -- Salon Team Leader, here we go! (I start Tuesday.)

02. I just found a way to get some cheaper prescriptive drugs now that I'm not heavily benefited through my old job. For like $40/3 months for two medications. Woot.

03. New email that made me laugh:

"Dear Amazon.com Customer,

"Based on your previous purchases in Women's Apparel, we thought you might be interested in slipping on a new pair of ballet flats. Shop over 350 styles from 80 top brands,including Charles David, Steve Madden, BCBGirls, Report, and more at Amazon.com."

Ironically, the only piece of apparel I have ever purchased from Amazon.com was a unisex pair of flannel black watch plaid pajama bottoms.

How that makes me an apparent ballet flat wearer, I'm not sure.

I in fact, I am the opposite of a ballet flat wearer -- I'm so damned short that most of my shoes have like a 2" heel on them, and I like a good cushy insole.

04. The chick they're trying to replace me with at the old job spent 40 minutes on the phone with me today, getting my perspective on about everyone and everything at the place.

And since I don't work there anymore, I was candid and frank.

And a little gossipy.

Who knows now if she'll take it -- she works at a different store as a stylist and seems very happy there, but they're pressuring her to take this position. I told her if worse comes to worse, she can always step down and go back to her old salon.

And I did warn her that I'll be actively recruiting most of the stylists over to my new job. Which she understands.

05. There are so many things wrong about the CD, "Sunday School Jamz!" that I just can't put my finger on all of them.

06. Best random spam I've received in a while:

"If you are ready to sell your soul to the Devil for just one erection, relax and get Viagra Pro for better results.

"Viagra Pro will give you more horse powers than there is in a good Porsche."

07. New favorite advertising campaign:

Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test, "the most sophisticated piece of technology you will ever pee on."

08. I'm finding it extremely frustrating to try and track down all of the clients I didn't get numbers for before I left the Old Job. Especially when I only know a last name, and there's like 96 of them in the city (Wife-client has different last name than Husband-bill payer), or they're teenagers, and I don't know their parent's names.

09. I'm now a zombie girl. I modeled in exchange for t-shirts, and now am up on my friend Shawn's site.

10. Oh, and did I forget to mention that my new dress code allows me to wear pretty much whatever I want to work, as long as it isn't whorish or denim?

And that my new boss lady said I can wear skull-prints and Bettie Page t-shirts at will?

And that she mentioned that there's already a girl that works there that is all goth-ish 'n stuff, so she thinks that the skulls will fit right on in?

hallelujah

Well, the parties settled this morning, so I got sprung from jury duty, and then I had the phone interview afterwards with the person who decides whether or not I would be right for the job.

Acccord to her, if my references fly, I'm in.

And considering that my references already work for her, and they tried to recruit me a few weeks ago, I would imagine that they're going to have nice things to say. And then I'll have a job.

Yayme.

this week

Okay, so I quit my job on Friday without an exit strategy.

I've never left anything without an exit strategy -- at a concert, I've already got an escape route planned out -- and I am all discombobulated now.

Tuesday, I went in to collect the remainder of my things, and I was told that the person who had complained about me so many times had actually said to the acting store manager that, "I never intended to get anyone fired or make them quit their job."

Too little, too late, sister.

Let's see. If every single time someone says something you don't like, and you run to store management and complain about it enough, it will probably eventually have some sort of negative consequences for the person who has been the source of your complaint. I mean, honestly, what is the intent when you register a complaint?

Wednesday, I had an excellent interview with a company for a salon leadership position, and I am expecting to hear from the district manager on Friday, hopefully with the intent to start me on Monday or Tuesday. Because I rock.

And then today, I had my very first jury duty experience. Where I was, of course, immediately picked to be on the jury of a civil trial that will probably drag out until Wednesday or Thursday of next week.

Something happened to someone, and now that person is suing someone else because of the thing that happened.

Truthfully, I could give a shit either way when it comes to the case, which I cannot discuss with y'all. I'm fully intending to make a sincere attempt to stay awake the whole time, but will likely be mostly bitter and resentful because I am self-involved, and will be preoccupied by my unemployment and deplorable financial status, and how my jury duty is preventing me from the potential to start a new job.

Jeez, if I have 39 days of jury duty, I might actually be able to swing rent!

And I'm also forced to pay out of pocket for medical insurance, at least for the time being, because I need medical coverage. *sigh*

But for now, I will be chilling at the Daley Center from 9-5pm weekdays. Word.