age spots forthcoming.

...i'm falling apart

08.14.05

I was lazing about on the couch this afternoon, when I had another startling realization about myself.

Namely...

"Good Lord! I have cellulite on the back of my calves!"

As though it isn't enough that I'm pasty ass white, you can see every hair follicle on my legs as though I was a plucked chicken, and that in the right light you can definitely see the developing spider veins on the back of my left calf, just a little to the left and above the two chicken pox marks, but now if the muscles are all slack, there is a definite cottage-cheesy pucker to the skin back there as well.

Now I guess I'm just waiting for the boobs to finally give in to gravity a little bit more, and the age spots to crop up instead of freckles.

It's not like I'll ever have navel-grazers or anything. I don't have ample enough breastage to accomplish that feat. Maybe if I get really fat and bend uncomfortably at the waist I might be able to do it, but that's the only way, I believe.

But still.