july summary

...i'm tired of the ups and downs

07.26.05

July has seriously been a month of ups and downs, alternating swiftly between the rockingest rocking, and the suckiest suckiness.

Yes, I had a birthday wherein I had an extremely enjoyable and all around nice day, and I got cool birthday presents and well-wishes.

But then yesterday, I not only discovered my first really concentrated patch of gray hair growing on my noggin (left temple), but I also discovered that I am going to be blessed with spider veins on the back of my left calf at some point in the pretty near future. If you pull the skin taut, you can totally see them.

For some insane reason, my car insurance rates went down almost 24%, which is great.

Corporate recently radically changed the qualifications you have to meet to make salon goals making them much much higher and far more difficult to achieve, so I will probably never earn another bonus for the rest of my life with this company.

I've narrowly avoided about 20 potential auto accidents, but I've also had 20 near-heart attacks and anxiety attacks in the process. If two lanes turn right, and you are in the inside lane, do not drive straight ahead instead of turning, when the car on in the outside lane to your left is turning right, because it can lead to pile ups and insurance claims. Or at least lots of swearing and hand gestures, and not so much "road rage" as "road extreme irritability."

I hate the imaginary secret $5 with validation parking ramp across the street from the Holiday Inn at the Merchandise Mart because regardless of how much effort I put into finding it, I still can't. And I have to take more classes there in the near future, so I am forced to ride the train there and back.

My breadwinner is leaving at the end of the week. Which also means fewer ear-piercing shrieks and migraine-inducing cackles that you can hear clear across the store.

The weather is sunny and hot. Which makes me all sweaty. Which gives me bacne. Which embarasses me and makes me not want to wear tank tops. Which makes me too hot. Ad nauseum.

The hot weather is making me run the air conditioning 24/7, which is making my electrical bill 2-3 times what it normally costs.

I sold a bunch of stuff on eBay, but consistently underestimated the cost of postage and ate into a large portion of my profits, which were still profits, regardless of size.

Corporate renegotiated the terms of our benefits package, so I now can either pay the same amount for suckier insurance, or I can pony up more money and get the same level of insurance, except at slightly higher prices. ER visits? $125, up from $100. Prescriptions (3 month supply) $25/$50/$100 up from $20/$40/$80. Etc.

I did get a letter that said this, though, "Congratulations! You have just qualified for Nellie Mae’s 2% ' EDvantage program' by making 48 on-time payments on your eligible Stafford loans. This program is Nellie Mae’s way of saying "thank you" for being a great customer and for maintaining a good payment record."

I had to waste an entire Sunday working at a Corporately-sponsored American Crew education demo, and then had to deal with a bunch of irritating hoohah associated with the leftover products from the class, but I did discover the joy of strawberries with brown sugar and sour creme, and I also got new clippers and a t-shirt as a prize, oh, and much free candy, chips and soda.

I got formally reprimanded at work for being unprofessional in an interaction with a client, and am now forced to clean-up my act and be more professional. IE: I need to stop using words and phrases like 'pimping,'' and 'junk in my hair' and have to start using words like 'promoting' and 'pomade.' I have to stop referring to people as "dude." I can't make jokes or tease anyone about anything. I can only discuss important things with other members of management and have to keep my opinions about everything to myself. Basically, I have to alter my personality and mannerisms to keep my source of employment.

I hated the ending of Tuck Everlasting, and the latest Harry Potter made me cry at least twice.

And the new IKEA catalogue just arrived.