So, I got this email, from the Nail Bar.
In case you're saying to yourself, "Hey, that name sounds strangely familiar!" I will remind you that the Nail Bar on Broadway, in Lakeview East, is where I became the recipient of the worst bikini wax ever that didn't involve skin-loss or 3rd degree burns, resulting in off-kilter pie.
And to add insult to injury, they periodically send me emails about special events and crap.
About which I do not really care in the least.
"Hey, trendsetter! You’re invited!
"What: OPI/Nail Bar product launch
"When: Wednesday, August 3, 2005, 9AM-9PM
"Where: All four Nail Bar salon locations
"Nail Bar Selected by OPI to Launch Fall
"CHICAGO
"OPI is launching a new
"During the daylong celebration, each salon will feature an OPI educator to answer all your questions pertaining to the grooming of your hands and feet. At the same time, the OPI educator and a Nail Bar technician will be offering $10 mini manicures with all proceeds going to Bear Necessities, a local pediatric cancer foundation. There will also be a raffle for a $100 gift basket as well as other giveaways.
"Be sure and mark the date on your calendar! Come to your local Nail Bar salon for this exclusive fashion event. Be the first in the United States to sport the new line of OPI colors, named after our fair city. This will be a fun day to learn, contribute to charity, pamper yourself and even have a chance to win free goodies. Just think how you can brag to your friends in other cities about your gorgeous new nail colors before they even have a chance to see them! Second city? Not if Nail Bar is involved!"
Because August 3rd is the INTERNATIONAL release date for the Chicago Collection.
Which means that at the locations of these salons that have nail technicians, you could theoretically get your nails done with any of the colors from this collection. And any of them that open before 9am central, like say on the East Coast, or just at any early-opening places, would theoretically be launching the color line before Nail Bar is.
Granted, there won't be an OPI educator at any of the other salons for the product launch, nor special mini manicures and all of the other clap-trap that Nail Bar is hawking, but it would still mean that the claim, "Just think how you can brag to your friends in other cities about your gorgeous new nail colors before they even have a chance to see them!" is grossly exaggerated and factually inaccurate.
I did email Nail Bar back about it, telling them that they were inadvertently lying to the public, but they haven't gotten back to me, yet.
And as an aside, I could probably go down to any professional beauty supply company, like say, Victory Beauty Systems, at 8:30am when the store opens, buy up the line, and hightail it back to my salon to give out manicures in The Grape Lakes, or Windy City Pretty, before Nail Bar even opens its doors for the day, if the cosmos were agreeably in appropriate alignment and such.
Of course, my hypothetical salon would have to be set up already to do a manicure before I get there, with client waiting patiently, and then be pretty close to Victory, to make it back in time to beat the 9am Nail Bar launch.
It'd be cutting it damned close, but it could most likely be done.
Or, if say, I decided to come into work early, because someone is always there at 7am, I could just paint my nails with some of the polish from one of the displays that would have already been set up in the store the night before, after closing time of course, and could sport "gorgeous new nail colors" before Nail Bar opened it's doors, and any of their customers had a chance to see them!
And if someone from a Georgia or New York salon location did it too, even better. Because they'd actually be in other cities, thus DOUBLY proving the Nail Bar's advertising to be a pack of lies.
Of course, I fully intend to still be at home before 9am on Wednesday, August 3rd, probably eating breakfast, but still.
It could happen, which is all that really matters.
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